Resources for Supporting Your Child Who Has Expressed Threats to Others

Dear Parent or Guardian,

First, take a deep breath. This is not your fault, and it’s not your child’s fault either. We want you to know there is hope. Many young people experience intense anger, fear, or intrusive thoughts of harming others when they are overwhelmed, traumatized, or struggling to manage strong emotions — and with the right support, they can recover and heal.

We are reaching out because your child shared something in Alongside that indicated thoughts about harming someone else. You can see the flagged message in your Parent Dashboard.

If you believe there is immediate danger, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency department. You can also call 988 (the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline) — they now respond to both suicidal and homicidal crises. Crisis counselors are available 24/7 to help ensure safety and connect you with local mental-health supports.

– The Alongside Team

Crisis Resources: Call 988 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, or text "HELLO" to 741741 for the Crisis Text Line. These services provide 24/7 confidential support for both you and your child.

5 Ways to Support Your Child Who Has Expressed Anger or Threats to Others

1. Ensure immediate safety

If your child has mentioned specific people, plans, or access to weapons, safety must come first.

  • Remove or secure all potential weapons, including firearms, knives, and sharp objects.
  • Supervise closely until you have consulted with a mental-health professional or emergency responder.
  • Do not leave your child alone if you believe there is an imminent risk.

If at any time you feel unsafe, call 911 or go to a local emergency department. If your child’s school or therapist has a safety plan in place, follow it immediately.

2. Talk calmly and compassionately

It can be frightening to hear that your child has thoughts of harming others. Stay calm — your reaction helps shape how safe they feel to open up.

Use statements like:

  • “It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot of anger or fear.”
  • “You’re not in trouble — I just want to understand what’s been going on.”
  • “These thoughts can feel scary, but they don’t define who you are.”

Avoid saying:

  • “You’d never actually do that.” (minimizes their feelings)
  • “That’s evil / wrong.” (creates shame and secrecy)
  • “You just want attention.” (invalidates their pain)

Your goal is to create safety through empathy, not confrontation.

3. Understand possible causes

Homicidal thoughts in young people rarely appear “out of nowhere.” They often reflect intense distress, trauma, fear, or loss of control rather than a desire to hurt others.Common contributing factors can include:

Immediate harm reduction:

  • Bullying, abuse, or feeling powerless
  • Exposure to violence at home, in the media, or in the community
  • Extreme anger or resentment following humiliation, loss, or rejection
  • Untreated mental-health conditions (such as depression, PTSD, psychosis, or impulse-control disorders)
  • Substance use or sleep deprivation which can reduce inhibition and emotional regulation

Your child may not want to hurt anyone but might be communicating a desperate need for safety, respect, or relief from pain.

4. Connect with professional help

A professional evaluation is essential. You don’t have to handle this alone.

  • Contact your pediatrician, school counselor, or local mental-health crisis team to request an urgent assessment.
  • Ask specifically for a risk assessment for harm to self or others.
  • If your child is already in therapy, inform their clinician immediately so the safety plan can be updated.

Evidence-based treatments such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and Trauma-Focused Therapy can help youth manage violent thoughts, regulate emotions, and build empathy and problem-solving skills.

5. Rebuild safety and trust at home

Your child needs to know they are still loved and believed in — even while you set clear, firm boundaries.

  • Keep routines consistent (sleep, meals, school, therapy).
  • Reinforce empathy and accountability: “I know you can learn other ways to cope when you feel angry or unsafe.”
  • Model calm conflict resolution and emotional expression.
  • Encourage physical activity, grounding skills, and healthy outlets for anger (e.g., art, movement, journaling, music).

You can also create a Safety Plan for Harm to Others, similar to a suicide safety plan. It might include:

  • Warning signs that anger or violent thoughts are escalating
  • Coping skills or distractions (deep breathing, walking away, calling a friend)
  • Trusted adults to contact
  • Steps to make the environment safe
  • Professional and crisis contacts

Additional Resources

Crisis Support Lines

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

Call or text 988 for 24/7 confidential support for anyone in emotional distress, including thoughts of harming self or others.

988lifeline.org

‍Crisis Text Line

Text HOME to 741741 for immediate text support from trained crisis counselors.

crisistextline.org‍‍

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)

‍Provides education, support, and connection to local resources for families navigating serious emotional distress.

‍https://www.nami.org/support-education/

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)

Use the Behavioral Health Treatment Locator to find youth mental-health and crisis programs near you.

findtreatment.gov
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American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP)
‍
Information for parents on aggression, impulse control, and risk assessment in youth.

AACAP Resource Center

‍Child Mind Institute

Articles and tools for parents managing youth aggression, anger, and violent ideation.
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https://childmind.org/article/is-my-childs-anger-normal/
https://childmind.org/article/aggression-in-children-causes/