Resources for Supporting Your Child Who May Be Experiencing Abuse

Dear Parent or Guardian,

First, take a deep breath. This is not your fault, and it’s not your child’s fault. What matters most right now is ensuring your child’s safety and emotional well-being. Abuse — whether from a peer, dating partner, or adult — can take many forms: physical harm, unwanted sexual contact, threats, emotional manipulation, or digital harassment. With care and support, your child can heal and feel safe again.

We are reaching out because your child shared something through Alongside that may indicate they are experiencing or have experienced abuse. You can see the flagged message in your Parent Dashboard.

If you believe your child or another person is in immediate danger, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency department. For 24/7 confidential help, contact the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (422-4453) or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

– The Alongside Team

Call 988 to connect with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, for information on how to support your child and to learn about resources in your area. In addition, please encourage your child to reach out to 988 for confidential 24/7 support.

5 Ways to Support Your Child Experiencing Abuse

1. Ensure safety first

If your child tells you someone has hurt, threatened, or scared them:

  • Believe them. False reports are rare; trust is critical.
  • Ensure immediate safety by keeping your child away from the person who harmed them.
  • Call 911 if there is danger of further harm.
  • Report suspected abuse of a minor by an adult to local Child Protective Services or the police.
  • If the harm came from another student, notify the school counselor or principal so safety planning can begin.

Your child should not be left to handle this alone. They need adults working together to protect them.

2. Listen calmly and validate

How you respond matters more than what you say. Children often fear they won’t be believed or will get in trouble.

Say things like:

  • “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”
  • “You didn’t do anything to deserve this.”
  • “Thank you for trusting me — you did the right thing.”
  • “I’m here, and I’m going to keep you safe.”
  • “You can tell me as much or as little as you want. You’re in control.”

Avoid:

  • “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” (blame)
  • “Are you sure that’s what happened?” (doubt)
  • “Let’s just forget this ever happened.” (minimizes the trauma)

Your calm presence can help your child start to feel safe again.

3. Understand what abuse can look like

Abuse isn’t always physical. It can involve manipulation, coercion, or fear.

Abuse from a peer or dating partner may include:

  • Physical harm or threats
  • Pressure for sexual acts or non-consensual contact
  • Controlling behavior (texts, tracking, isolating from friends)
  • Spreading rumors or humiliating posts online
  • Fear, withdrawal, or sudden mood changes

Abuse from an adult may include:

  • Physical or sexual contact, touching, or comments
  • Asking a child to keep “secrets”
  • Gifts, special attention, or grooming behaviors
  • Manipulating or threatening to harm the child or family

Any of these signs should be taken seriously, even if your child downplays them.

4. Take protective and legal steps

If abuse by a peer or adult is suspected:

  1. Report to authorities (police, CPS, or mandated reporters such as teachers).
  2. Request a school safety plan if the abuser is another student (adjust schedules, supervision, and/or no-contact agreements).
  3. Seek a medical exam if physical or sexual contact occurred — ideally at a child-friendly hospital or forensic center (Child Advocacy Center).
  4. Avoid direct contact with the suspected perpetrator; let professionals coordinate communication.

You may feel angry, scared, or helpless — that’s normal. Focus on steady, protective actions rather than confrontation.

5. Connect with professional and emotional support

Healing takes time. Your child may need counseling with a therapist trained in trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT) or child sexual abuse treatment.

Support your child by:

  • Keeping routines stable and predictable.
  • Avoiding pressuring them to talk before they’re ready.
  • Reinforcing that what happened does not define them.
  • Seeking your own support through a counselor or parent group — your calm helps theirs.

Additional Resources

911 — Emergency Response
‍
Call if your child or another person is in immediate danger.

‍988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
‍
Call or text 988 for 24/7 emotional support for anyone in distress.

‍National Child Abuse Hotline
‍
Call or text 1-800-4-A-CHILD (422-4453) or chat via childhelphotline.org.
Trained counselors can provide guidance on reporting and next steps.

‍National Domestic Violence Hotline
‍
Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788.
Provides safety planning, shelter connections, and confidential support.

‍RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
‍
Call 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit hotline.rainn.org.
Specialized support for sexual abuse and assault survivors of all ages.

‍Love Is Respect
‍
For teens experiencing dating violence.
Call 1-866-331-9474, text LOVEIS to 22522, or chat at loveisrespect.org.

‍Child Advocacy Centers (CACs)
‍
Find a local CAC for forensic exams and trauma-informed interviews:
nationalchildrensalliance.org/cac-finder

‍Child Mind Institute
‍
Resources for helping children process trauma and build resilience:
childmind.org/topics/concerns/trauma-and-grief

‍National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (CyberTipline)
‍
To report online exploitation or serious digital harassment.report.cybertipline.org